Rick Jantz, Writer

Who is it I am?

And because I don’t know

how do I find out

who I am

and what I’m to do?

I look at the bounty

of those I would be like

and know I am meager

of self and belongings.

Take a step forward?

But the cliff is there

reminding me there’s nowhere

to put my foot down

without falling.

It is the fall I fear,

the great unknowing.

I am my own

but wishful tendrils remain

of the safe life

I once had.

Resolute, I close my eyes,

reach out with a foot

and step,

fearing the fall

but fearing more to stay.

Life, you are mine,

catch me.

Above the clouds and higher still

in wing-ed thought I fly.

The world a speck and smaller still

light lost in darkening sky.

To some a street, others a tunnel

the answer now I know.

Strange familiar is all around

a scent of home long left.

A comforting touch, spirit to mine

guides me to the Creator.

I tried to bow but not allowed

without taking all of heaven with me.

Midnight prowls my cat

for a mouse in a vent.

Catch it before I scream,

before it skitters from under the counter.

But it will come now that you’re gone

because it delights

in your passing.

I don’t have your speed.

Old age took you.

None of us outlive it.

Even with nine lives

it stalked you all along.

Your snuggles and purrs

I feel them, hear them still.

Meal companion and watchdog,

you ruled our sanctuary.

The house echoes

with your ghostly call

and will haunt me until I’m done.

Why don’t mice ever age?

Disappointment,

thou art a beast

that slays the trying heart

and crushes rising hope.

The heart is defenseless,

yet you strike

with loud derision

at its unattainable efforts.

Go, I say.

And yet it’s me

that gave rise to this creature

that attacks and thunders in glee.

Stay then

for you are mine.

I am both heart and beast.

The heart must one day triumph.