Believe that you are enough. You belong here. Your life matters. Your inner critic is wrong.
I think that one of the saddest things for most of us, me included, is that we think we’re not enough, that we’re not worthy. I don’t know how many times I’ve read in various comments sections that, when asked, people admit to not “being good enough.”
I’m not sure why this is so prevalent and where it originates for everyone. For myself, I believe it was when I was a kid and needed to get attention, prove that I’m here, show that I’m good enough. And yes, I did it by being the problem child.
We have this inner critic, our thoughts, that continually validates that we’re not good enough. How many times have you said to yourself:
- “You did it again, dummy.”
- “You idiot.”
- “Why bother, I never win anything.”
Whether these or other destructive banner flying across our mind’s eye, we find it easier to rip ourselves down than to lift ourselves up. But who can we stop this negative self-talk, assuming that we even want to?
It’s easy to say to you, “Tell yourself that you are good enough. That you are worthy.” But if you said that to me I’d likely raise an eyebrow and think, yeah right. (Negative self-talk is stubborn.)
But really, a good way to stop this type of talk and start liking and believing in ourselves is to state it. Affirmations if you like. Does it work? Yes, but I think you need to look yourself in the eye in a mirror and tell yourself that you are good enough. These are not trite comments to say to yourself. Make them genuine and you will become them.
Have you ever journaled? I’ve been doing it for years and I got tired of writing the same self-deprecating crap over and over again. What I’ve done of late is to use a red pen and write something positive that I’ll do. Like:
- I will change those things I control.
- I will have friends and will cherish them and I will show them friendship.
- I will become “properly” me (this one is related to a journal discussion I was having).
- I will act with care toward others.
Do you see what I mean? You can change your self-talk if you want to. You can use these ideas or discover others that work for you.
But know this: you are good enough!
You just have to remind yourself of this.