Poems

Midnight prowls my cat

for a mouse in a vent.

Catch it before I scream,

before it skitters from under the counter.

But it will come now that you’re gone

because it delights

in your passing.

I don’t have your speed.

Old age took you.

None of us outlive it.

Even with nine lives

it stalked you all along.

Your snuggles and purrs

I feel them, hear them still.

Meal companion and watchdog,

you ruled our sanctuary.

The house echoes

with your ghostly call

and will haunt me until I’m done.

Why don’t mice ever age?

Disappointment,

thou art a beast

that slays the trying heart

and crushes rising hope.

The heart is defenseless,

yet you strike

with loud derision

at its unattainable efforts.

Go, I say.

And yet it’s me

that gave rise to this creature

that attacks and thunders in glee.

Stay then

for you are mine.

I am both heart and beast.

The heart must one day triumph.

Wrap it up, cushioned

against damage from handling.

Hide the tender beat

from pain not lived

(but just in case it comes).

Protect it.

Massage it.

Handle with care.

And then safely look out,

with caution hold tightly

to the package you guard.

Slip through the world

hoping you never

need to unwrap

your heart to love.

Her neck jiggled with each chuckle

topped by ill-fitting teeth.

Six whirling children excited

quaint Aunt Edna.

Cat hair flung all over the messy room,

a room soaked in warmth

wanting echoes of screaming children

delighting in freedom.

Melted chocolate chips wafting.

Cookies cooling on the counter.

Six-year-old fingers juggle heat

and then feast with the cat in secret.

Warm arms, pillowy bosom

(not found at home).

Sink into warmth

Of love long needed.

In the scatter lived a safe place

that welcomed uncertain children

with a gentle, flavored air,

pulsing with Aunt Edna’s aroma.

Born in the storm
Of mighty wind howling, the baby awakes
The tempest rages while parents rejoice
The room weeps for another
Unwitting form

In our neighborhoods
We know the usual but not another’s
We decorate our yards in comparison
One-upmanship reigns
Others starve

The world’s tyrannies
Shout across the oceans at others blame
We, secure in our righteousness
Change our attention
Another one dies

This planet our home
Cries in pain we cause deliberately
It looks beyond yet lives within
Asks the heavens
Guide the citizens

What life I wonder did you have,
As you your past do view?
Seams and crevasses are your lot,
Your life is nearly through.

Wrinkles have your face possessed,
And crows have walked upon.
Gone is freshness of your youth,
Your smile is nearly gone.

Life you thought would never end,
Those many years ago.
But pass it does and oh so swift,
Tis past before you know.

But something more I yet do see,
Looking through the folds.
It’s something only you can have,
That only you could hold.

Now I know! I see it clear,
I’ve found it in your eyes.
Wisdom’s there, its shining forth,
Claimed by a thousand cries.

Wisdom and wrinkles, I see them there,
Not one but two make you.
You’ve led your life and now be blessed,
I see the inner you.

But now I wonder of my own life,
For your age I do aspire.
Will I the same as you do look,
And have same inner fire?

I wouldn’t have to guess if I’m loved
I wouldn’t have to guess if there’s a God…or a Source…or a Living Universe
Or whatever is out there, that I want in here

If I didn’t have to guess about life
I wouldn’t have to wander the streets alone
I wouldn’t have to guess if others knew I was alive
And knew that they passed me by

If I didn’t have to guess – but just knew
   I could cast away my doubts
   I could be more
   I could achieve more
   I could have more
   I could love, because I wasn’t so busy guessing

But I’m left guessing
   Left wondering
   Left doubting
   Left less secure
   Left second-guessing myself
   Left alone with my unanswered questions

But why must I guess?
Why must I seek?
Why must I feel alone among many?
Because to guess, to ask, to want
Is the way there from here

I feel defeated
everywhere
I turn
in the middle
is me

Four walls
surround
a heart
beats alone
in silence

I reach
fearfully
to touch
a hand
passes by

Do as
others do
and wait
the day
will pass

This day lived
by many
yet one
I live
alone

I reach
fearfully
to touch
a hand
grasping too